Conflict

Did you know that the average teenager makes about 35,000 decisions per day? That’s right! From what to eat, where to sit, how to respond in a conversation—decisions happen all day everyday. Studies also show that 10-30% of our daily decisions will likely result in conflict with someone else. That means conflict isn’t just possible—it’s inevitable.  

Think about it:  

- Arguments with friends over rumors or misunderstandings  

- Disagreements with parents about curfews, grades, or responsibilities  

- Frustrations with teachers, coaches, or teammates  

- Even conflict with ourselves—like doubting our worth or struggling with insecurity  

So since we can’t avoid conflict, what do we do? Do we fight it out? Do we ignore it? Do we ghost people when things get awkward? The answer is: We have to learn how to handle conflict in a healthy way.  

“Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional." — Max Lucado  

Conflict Happens Because of Unmet Expectations - One of the biggest reasons we face conflict is because of unmet expectations—expectations we put on others that they may not even know about.  

-  You expect your best friend to always invite you first, but they make plans without you.  

-  You expect your parents to understand your emotions, but they seem too busy.  

-  You expect your significant other to text back immediately, but they don’t.  

-  When our expectations aren’t met, we feel frustrated, rejected, or disappointed. But the truth is, people aren’t mind readers. Sometimes, we set expectations for others that they never agreed to, and when they don’t meet them, we take it personally.  

That’s why HEALTHY COMMUNICATION is key—if we don’t talk about what we expect, we’re setting ourselves (and others) up for conflict.

Read Genesis 13:5-18 - Abraham and Lot were family. But just like any family, they ran into conflict. They were both wealthy, with tons of sheep, cattle, and workers. The problem? They didn’t have enough land for all their people and animals. Their workers started fighting over space and resources. Now, Abraham could have flexed his authority and demanded the best land. He was older, more respected, and had every right to win the argument. Instead, he chose peace over pride.  

How Abraham Handled Conflict in a Healthy Way:  

1.Prioritized Relationships Over Winning – He told Lot, "Let there be no strife between you and me… for we are relatives" (Genesis 13:8). 

2.Chose Humility Over Pride – Instead of demanding first choice, Abraham let Lot pick his land first.  

3.Found a Compromise – They split up peacefully, avoiding further conflict.  

4.Trusted God – Abraham didn’t fight for the "best" land—he trusted God to provide, and God later blessed him abundantly.  

"Sometimes we have to surrender our right to be right, so that we can be right with God." — Steven Furtick  

When you don’t deal with conflict in a healthy way, you don’t just leave it in the past. You carry it with you into every future relationship and friendship.

- If you don’t learn to handle disagreements now, you’ll struggle in future friendships.  

- If you never address the tension with your parents, you may carry that same resentment into marriage one day.   

- If you don’t learn to talk through hurt feelings, you may push people away who actually care about you.  

Unresolved conflict doesn’t stay in the past—it grows into bitterness, insecurity, and broken relationships. 

 That’s why Abraham and Lot’s story is so important. Abraham chose to deal with the problem before it destroyed their relationship. The way you handle conflict now will shape your friendships, your future marriage, and even your career.  

Where Are You Focusing Your Energy?

Most of us spend a lot of energy stressing about things we can’t control: other people’s opinions, whether someone forgives us, how others react to us, what people say behind our backs, the past, world events   

Instead, we need to shift our focus to things we CAN control: the choices we make, our effort, our words, our attitude, learning from mistakes, where we direct our energy, how we respond, taking care of ourselves.

"You may not be able to control the storm, but you can control how you steer your ship."* — Max Lucado  

We can’t control how others treat us, but we can control how we respond.  

"Peace is not the absence of conflict; it’s the ability to handle it with wisdom and grace." — Steven Furtick   

Conflict will always be a part of life. You can either:  

    •    Let it control you—leading to anger, broken relationships, and regret.  

    •    Learn to handle it with wisdom—leading to growth, peace, and God’s blessing.  

Think about a conflict in your life right now. Are you handling it with humility, wisdom, and respect? What’s one thing you can do to focus on what you CAN control?  

- Maybe it’s forgiving someone even if they don’t deserve it.  

- Maybe it’s apologizing first, even if it’s uncomfortable.  

- Maybe it’s choosing to walk away from drama instead of adding to it.  

 - Whatever it is, choose peace, choose humility, and trust God to take care of the rest.  

"Facing conflict reveals courage, integrity, and a commitment to truth. Growth comes not from avoidance, but from addressing challenges with wisdom and grace."